Friday night I had some folks over to play cards. We usually play once a month or so. The group is made up of people I’ve known for many years. Whenever I have anyone over to my house that is inclined toward whiskey I try to impart on them some of my passion for all things whiskey. I share drinks with them and encourage them to sample things they haven’t tried before. During the many years I’ve drank whiskey I always had an open cabinet policy for guests. Most folks are timid but a few who know me and reciprocate hospitality are a little more comfortable. I don’t monitor my whiskey cabinet when guest are over. When I’m up I offer drinks and they come and go at the cabinet over the course of the evening. I think most whiskey inclined people who’ve drank at my house would consider me a generous host. I at least try to be. I’ve never had an issue with my open cabinet policy…….until Friday.
A friend of mine who I’ve known for almost ten years is the offender. During the game he would get up in between hands and head off to the liquor cabinet. Midway through the evening I got up to get another drink and I heard him snickering to someone else about “not letting Richard know we’re drinking the good stuff” as I came around to the cabinet. When he saw me he jumped and clearly reacted like someone “caught” doing something they shouldn’t. I looked and he was pouring from the most expensive bottle of whiskey I own. I’m not a man flush with cash but I have a few nice bottles. This one was a single malt my wife got me for my birthday a few years ago. It didn’t bother me that he was drinking some. It bothered me that it was nearly 3/4 full the last time I had some a few days ago and was now almost empty. My response was something along the lines of “holy crap man, leave me some of that.” No apologies or excuses were rendered, just a smartass comment about “not letting your friends near your liquor cabinet.” Well, if you can’t let your friends in your liquor cabinet then they probably shouldn’t be your friends I would think but I left it alone and the night continued.
Later in the evening he comes back and tosses me $40 saying “I guess I owe you a bottle of Glenlivet 12 year old or something.” I asked what he was referring to and he said he’s finished off that bottle he’d been hitting all night. I must have gone pale because all conversation at the table stopped. His wife asked him how much was the bottle he drank. “About $150” he said. I quickly corrected him that it was a $400+ bottle of scotch. His wife was appalled, my wife was looking at me waiting to see my head explode, and I was speechless after that. However, my friend was less than concerned and not apologetic in the least.
I tried to let it go and not ruin the night for the other guests but it was hard. This was a grown man in his forties, not an unrepentant teenager. I couldn’t and still can’t believe that 1) he so grossly abused my hospitality and 2) he showed no remorse. It was very clear that he purposely dug deep into the cabinet to find the most expensive stuff I had and killed most of a bottle of it. Unfortunately, this incident caused me to reassess my whiskey policy when people are over at my house. I’m sharing so you can help me feel better about my situation by sharing horror stories of your own. What is the worst abuse of your hospitality that you’ve suffered?
BTW, it was a bottle of Glenlivet XXV and I hadn’t even gotten a chance to review it yet!
I’ve always had a near total open-cabinet policy. I ask guests to be gentle with things I adore and can’t replace. But, I don’t worry in general. Someone who actively, and consciously, abused my hospitality would simply never be welcome back. I wouldn’t change my policy. That said, it has never come up. My friends are friends.
What you describe isn’t the behavior of a friend.
I have to admit I cringed when I read this. I was taken aback by how unapologetic and crass he was. I’d be fuming!
Your story reminds me of the times my one, very cheap friend has come over with his family. I keep a very clean household, but yet he and his family will walk around the house like it’s a barn and help themselves to anything and everything. After they leave, I spend the next couple of hours cleaning the place. Yet, when I visit him in his house, it’s nothing but the best from Costco while freezing my rear off because he sets the thermostat so low.
I tolerate this because he is my friend after all. Your case is a bit more extreme, actually borderline where I would start reassessing my friendship. Not only did he knowingly finish off a bottle of your “good stuff,” he insulted you by throwing $40 at you for it. And to not have any remorse or willingness to fork over $400? I would not have kept quiet and would have told him to leave and never come back. I wouldn’t have cared if I had known him for over a decade. The word “friend” is used liberally. Hell, think of how many “friends” people have on Facebook? It is times like this that afford you the opportunity to reassess your friendships and decide if they truly deserve a place in your life.
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