2010

I tried out a new barber recently. He did a pretty good job, but he didn’t have the care for his tools that my usual barber possesses. His blades were dull, something my usual barber would never tolerate. My hair had grown long and wild and the barber sawed at it like an Amish wood worker (another group that would not tolerate dull blades). He switched to some smaller, slightly sharper, scissors for the detail work and a straight razor for the neckline. Anyone who’s ever used an old blade knows the discomfort of a rough shave. Imagine that along a four-inch blade, scraping across your neck. Not all that pleasant, I assure you.

Where am I going with this? It is important for any craftsman to care for his tools, no matter his craft. This is true whether you are a cooper, a malt man, a Master Distiller, or even a spirits writer.

After the passing of Michael Jackson (not that Michael Jackson), John Hansel blogged about who would be the one to fill the great Beer Hunter’s shoes. One thing he brought up was the sacrifice it takes to be a spirits writer of such caliber. One requirement, you must abstain for foods and activities that may damage your palate and nosing abilities. It seems to me, that the life of the Master Distiller is much the same. The Master Distiller for Suntory eats the same lunch every day to ensure his palate remains unchanged. Given the Japanese obsession with perfection, I can only assume that the day his udon tastes different will be the day he retires.

These are sacrifices I could not make. I like garlic, onions, hot peppers, and searingly hot curries (not to mention the occasional cigar).  Therefore, my tools are not as sharp as they could be.  I’m okay with this.  I don’t claim to be an expert of any kind, only an enthusiast.  There are certainly Master Distillers and writers out there who smoke, drink coffee, and eat spicy food.  I imagine it does affect the way they taste and smell.  Even aging can cause problems.  The older we get, the worse our senses (taste and smell included).  I’m sure there are no Master Distillers under the age of 30 and only a few under the age of 40.  It seems that all of us are operating at a disadvantage.  How do the older distillers and writers keep up their skills?  The same way they honed them in the first place; practice, practice, practice.

It’s a tough thing for a whisk(e)y writer to realize that he could probably never be a distiller (at least for me), but I have the added problem of having a crap memory.  I was not kind to my brain during my late teens and early 20s and my memory was spotty before then.  The only reason I blog is for a record of my tasting notes.  The distillers I’ve met have encyclopedic memories.  Heck, some of the bartenders I’ve met have encyclopedic memories.  Ethan Kelley (formerly of Brandy Library) and a guy named Roger who worked at St. Andrews Pub before it turned into a tourist bar knew more about the whiskies they sold (and whisky in general) than just about anyone I’ve ever known.  If anyone knows where these guys are now, let me know.  That will be my new bar.

While I can’t do anything about my memory, my wife and I are embarking on a detox.  If you don’t live in Los Angeles or New York City, the idea of detox may seem foreign, but we live in such toxic environments that cleaning your body out of processed suger, alcohol, tobacco and caffeine can be very cathartic.  After my formal detox, I’m going to do some tasting notes and see if my senses are any better.  If not, then I won’t worry.  If I have a much greater appreciation and understanding of whisky, I’ll try to learn to moderate my intake of all the things that make life beautiful.

What do you do to help “keep your blades sharp” so to speak?

Richard asked me to contribute my thoughts on the plight of the fledgling whisk(e)y drinker.  What can I say?  Richard did a pretty thorough job.  I can tell you that my biggest beef is with the internet (yes, I see the irony).

Like Richard said, when we came up with the idea for our Whisk(e)y Apostle, there were not a lot of folks out there doing the same thing.  Through a series of false starts and general laziness, we got started right at the beginning of the blogger boom.  Now, there are almost as many whisk(e)y blogs as porn sites (so I hyperbolize, I’m from the South).  If you throw a cat in Brooklyn, you’re bound to hit at least one blogger and if they don’t blog about music or design, they blog about spirits or cocktails.  That’s just the environment in which we live.  Now, I’m not coming down on blogging per se.  Blogging puts the power (or at least the voice) in the hands of the people.  In order to avoid a lengthy discussion about populism, let’s just say that’s a good thing for now.

So, if ‘power to the people’ is a good thing, what am I bitching about?  Well, the sheer amount of information sources available can be daunting for the first time consumer.  There are some informative blogs, some entertaining blogs, and a few that are both.  There are also blogs where the writers have very little knowledge of their subject and act as tools to disseminate false or inaccurate information (not intentionally, I’m sure).  Some are even tools of the corporate machine.   So, where does one go for accurate and well-presented information?  Certainly not the sites from the distilleries, distributors, and corporate overlords.

Three or four years ago, most distilleries did not have individual websites.  Now, even the small guys have sites loaded with flash animation, fanciful stories, some esoteric tasting notes and little else.  If you want a good fairy tale, these are great sites.  If you want some solid information on what is actually in the bottle, forget it.  There are some exceptions to be sure, but distillery websites often drive me mad with their lack of information shrouded by flashy graphics and pastoral photos of moors and mountains.

In this internet age, we have to be more careful about what we believe and what we repeat.  Someone who once was a lonely voice ranting in the darkness may now have 200,000 followers on Twitter.  I’ve heard bartenders, liquor store personnel, and customers alike spouting half-truths and fallacies as if they were fact.  At times, I may have done the same.  And, for that, I apologize.

Marketing in general can be minefield for even the educated consumer.  Many consumers believe that an age statement is an indication of quality, but they don’t really know what it means.  Some believe an age statement to be the oldest or average age for the whisky in the bottle.  In actuality, it’s the youngest whisky in the bottle (no matter what country you are talking about).  Other terms like small batch, single barrel, pure malt, blend, blended malt, single malt, and single grain can further through a wrench in the works.  This is especially the case when terms like  “small batch” does not have a legal or agreed upon meaning.  Jim Beam has an entire “small batch” line.  When you produce as much whiskey as Jim Beam, a relative small batch is still quite a bit of liquid.  “What Does John Know” had a great thread about this very topic recently.

While I think the shear amount of information (good and bad) out there may be daunting, it is also one of the greatest boons to the whisk(e)y novice.  The same can be said for other challenges.  The variety of bottles on the shelves can be dizzying in a place like Binny’s (Metro-Chicago) or Liquor Mart (Boulder, CO) or at specialty bars.  However, this can also mean that you are more likely to find one that you like.  Once you find one whisky (or whiskey) that you like, I promise you will find others.

Drink well, drink responsibly.

-Matt