I’m a pretty laid back guy, and don’t let the little stuff bother me. Usually. But I need to vent on this one.
This weekend, I attended a wedding where the venue had made several mistakes leading up to the big day. I was told in advance that they were looking to make up for some of these by throwing in “premium bar service” at no extra charge. The venue (which I won’t name here) was very nice, upscale, on a marina – so when someone says “premium bar service” I figured “Ok, so not Evan Williams/Jim Beam/Jack Daniels, but maybe Knob Creek, or Four Roses Single Barrel, and some 10 yr single malts”. I wasn’t thinking limited edition, or 18 yr single malt. After the ceremony, I approach the bar – confused as I only see (in terms of whiskey) Jim, Jack, and Johnnie. There is NOTHING wrong with any of these whiskies – and had I not heard “premium bar service” prior, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought – but sharing this piece for context. I was disappointed immediately (and thinking “This is why you ALWAYS bring a flask” – which I had brought on the trip, but opted to not fill/bring after hearing “premium bar service”).
I take a deep breath, committed to enjoying the rest of the evening, and order a Jack neat. “I’m sorry – that’s against policy sir. Would you like that over ice?”
I stare blankly trying to understand what was just said to me. It makes no sense, so I assume he must not have understood me. “I’m sorry – I’d just like some Jack Daniels, neat – no ice please” I state, trying to articulate the words carefully. “I’m sorry sir, I can’t do that. Our policy doesn’t allow us to pour shots.”
I blink a few times, wondering where the disconnect is. I smile, and try to explain that I’m not wanting a “shot” – I’d just like some Jack Daniels without any ice in a rocks glass. I explain that at 80 proof, I don’t really want it watered down with ice. And again – not asking for a shot – this is Tennessee sipping whiskey, which I intend to sip. I try to put the man at ease that I’m not going to be just throwing these back and wearing my tie on my head before dinner. No dice – they just can’t do it.
There were two bars, and I notice my dad leaving the other bar (after having heard the same feedback from the bartender), with a Jack and two small ice cubes. He said he asked her for Jack with two cubes. Not ideal, but workable. I ask if I can get a Jack with the smallest ice cube she has. She gives me a smile and says “Certainly sir!” and plucks out a quarter-sized sliver of ice, and pours 2 oz of Jack over it.
I get the “no shots” policy at a wedding. But I have some news for folks who have such policies:
- Ice isn’t an antidote to alcohol. 2 oz of Jack Daniels has the same amount of alcohol whether served neat or over a few cubes. Exact same. I promise – look it up.
- When watered down, alcohol doesn’t taste as much like alcohol – which seems like this would lead to drinking more – not less.
- What you’re trying to curb is irresponsible behavior. Altering how someone is enjoying their spirits isn’t that effective. Setting expectations and cutting off those who are acting irresponsible is.
Personally, I take offense that the enjoyment of whiskey neat is considered “bad behavior” or is likened to a bunch of kids lining up shots and getting hammered (news flash – they use Fireball or vodka for that sorta thing). Especially when I saw folks getting loaded on the craft beers they had, or huge glasses of wine. The thought that forcing me to have one or more ice cubes in my glass would somehow be a force for good is ignorant. Although it has reinforced the primary lesson I’ll take away from this: Always bring the flask – regardless of what they tell you will be available.
Cheers!
Gary